Saturday, April 05, 2008

My heart will choose to say, Lord Blessed be your Name!

             See this little smiling face? Meet Nemias (Nehemiah). He lives in our baby house.
Would you believe that one week ago he was in a coma? We weren't sure if he would live another night. He had already lost 6 pounds in 3 days. He was so weak and not breathing well. This photo was taken in December. After much prayer, God did a miracle! He came out of the coma he had been in for a few days! Each day he made progress. His diarrhea stopped. He started eating again. He came home from the hospital yesterday and today I was holding him and playing with him. He is doing so well! God is sooo good! 
There has been allot of sickness in the baby house. Vomiting and diarrhea. Most of the cases were not malaria. But it was just getting out of control, one baby after the other was getting sick!
Then on March 20th this little princess, Irene, who came a few months ago (this picture was taken the day she came--she is albino), suddenly went from this earth into Jesus' waiting arms.
Jesus loves all the little children of the world. I am not sure why he allows some to die so young. It is impossible to understand.
This has been a difficult week. I have found myself just laying down on my bed to cry out to God. And He is so loving. It is okay to cry and ask him "why?" and say "I don't understand!" On Sunday morning I was just about to walk to church, and my phone rang. It was Ros Lazar, calling to tell me Jordina had died the night before. Jordina used to live here when I was here k in the girl's dorm in 2004. I got to know her pretty well, and she was so sweet! She was living with one of the ladies from the church, and working in our baby house last year. Then she got pregnant, and had her baby in November. In February her baby got sick, and she was too late taking him to the hospital. Then she got sick, and on Saturday died. It was so sudden! It is so hard to believe. 
A few weeks ago in home group Ros was sharing and said how at home, when something bad happens or you hear of an injustice, you grieve. She shared of how when she was at home for a visit, and heard about a situation here with a little girl, she just couldn't get it out of her mind all day. And she couldn't figure out why it was so bothering her. She said here, we seem to go from one big trial to the next, without breaks. It is just the norm. So sometimes we don't allow ourselves to grieve or feel in these situations. We just get kind of numb. I have been thinking so much about that. And so I have been praying God would make me soft again. That I wouldn't just add it to the list when we get a new child who was abandoned, or kicked out of the house, or sexually abused. But Lord! Help me to be soft and break my heart! Help me to carry these to you, and help me not become emotionless. 
"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
 When I say this, I am not talking about having a pity party for myself. I am just saying, when a child was abused or someone dies unexpectedly, it's ok to be angry, to cry, to hurt for that child. And when I am moved by the situation, I can carry it to God for His answer and His healing and freedom! But it takes me open and soft, not hard and numb. This week I have been really feeling the pain of these situations. And God has been taking that pain and replacing it with his peace and strength.
Lord, teach me to be soft and pliable to the work of your hands. Teach me to carry each situation that comes up, and each person or family to you in prayer. Amen.
Gilda lives in the girls dorm. She went in to hospital last night with a chest infection (it seems), sores and thrush in her mouth, and vomiting. They haven't found what's wrong, but she is being fed through a tube now, while they run tests and give her medicine.
Please pray for 100% healing, quickly!

Edited to add: Last night I went to the hospital to see Gilda. She is doing so well! Her mouth sores are all cleared up, her breathing is back to normal, and she is not vomiting anymore. She also had the feeding tube removed. She is taking medicine through an IV. Monday is a holiday in Mozambique so the doctors won't be doing their rounds, but hopefully Tuesday she can come home. God is good!

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